Friday, June 22, 2012

Fuck You Friday! #SNRyan edition.

Fuck You Old Man,

I happen to love old people.  More than most people.

But ignorant assholes?  I can do without.

You with your hag wife and me with my kids.  The ONLY patrons at Moe's this afternoon.

They're fucking children. Do you really think they are going to arrive at the ice machine and NOT fight over whom fills their cup first?

And seeing as we were the ONLY people in the fucking place, did you have to try to squeeze through the two feet between said bickering kids and a fucking empty table?

Clearly going around the table wouldn't have been the wiser choice.

No.  You had to push your way through.  And get bumped by my kids, hence spilling your drink.

And proceed to stand there glaring unkindly at frightened Bea and Owen.

I tried.  While holding my tray filled with fucking delicious quesadillas; I tried to sign to my Deaf kid that he needed to apologize for making you spill your drink.  Even though it really wasn't his fault.

And I expected your expression to soften once you realized you were staring down a fucking DEAF kid. But no.

You hardened your stink eye, huffed and grumped off.

You sir,  are old enough to know better.

And old enough to fuck the fuck off.

Ryan would like to weigh in:

*******

Fuck you summer,

Though I do enjoy the lack of homework battles and mad dashes to the bus every morning. And chicken wings on the grill and drinks by the fire kick plenty of ass. The whole swimming thing is exhausting.

And we swim.  A lot.

Friends and relatives with beautiful pools.  A pond across the street.  The ocean everywhere.

So far this week?  Pool Wednesday, pond yesterday and the ocean today.

It is not physically exhausting.  It is mentally and emotionally draining.

Hearing aids and fancy FM system are not compatible with sand and water. I swallow a lump every time I have him hand me his aids.  'Cause when he's in the water, he can't hear a damn thing.

And you'd think that having been Deaf for the past 8.5 years, our friends and family would know this.

You'd be wrong.

Just last week, a very close member of the family was talking to Owen in the pool.  He swam away mid sentence and this person actually asked me;

"How much does he hear without his hearing aids?"

For fucking real.

Yeah.  That ten grand worth of amplification he wears is just for show.  He can totally hear without it.

I asked Owen later that day;

"How do you feel when people talk to you when you're not wearing your hearing aids?"

"Sad I think?"

Ack.

So fuck anyone who talks to my Deaf  kid at the pool/pond/beach.  Ask me to interpret for fuck's sake.

That is, until Ryan's gift arrives;



Sunday had a shit week, so it looks like there's no link up today.





Hope you're feeling better soon Sunday!


*******
*ingnoranus:  one who in ignorant AND an ass hole.  I didn't make this word up. But am certain whomever did, would be pleased to know that it is being used to its full potential.

26 comments:

  1. The reason the world is filled with grumpy old people is that only the good die young.

    God's trying to keep the bastards out as long as she can.

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  2. fucking love me some Bad Words ...& some Ryan. Way hot over my morning java. Many thanks!! BYW can you teach us how to sign "fuck off grumpy asshole" ?

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  3. You got me all fired up. I want to put my foot up some peoples' asses.

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  4. Fuck that grumpy old fucktard.



    and fuck rg on his face, ya know, just 'cuz.

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  5. I sometimes really really really hate old people. They're usually the ones who ask my why Abby (my daughter with Down syndrome) isn't in an institution. They're also usually the ones that use the word "retarded". I know in this instance, they don't mean to be assholes, but it still stings a little.

    You're a better person than I am. I would have done one of the only signs I know to that old dude. Right in his face.

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  6. Haha- I love what Lexi said! That would have been a good sign!
    I love all your swim photos on instagram!

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  7. This might be my favorite post ever. In the history of all posts that are awesome. Thank you!

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  8. "How much does he hear without his hearing aids?" - this almost left me speechless. But then I remembered *ingoranus, and I've just fallen in love with that word, so I must use it. A lot.

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  9. I didn't even notice Ryan "said" ignoranus instead of ignoramus until I read your definition... and now I have a new word to love.

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  10. Oh thank you Ryan.
    And you Tulp, I needed me some Ryan.

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  11. LOL. I love that Ryan wants to help Owen hear fish farts.

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  12. Yeah, I'm loving ignoranus too!! Can't wait to use it.

    Ah, summer!! The double edged sword!

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  13. well at least ryan has your back! lololololololol!

    the beach is a nightmare with any kid. omg. but you have a whole other issue to contend with, and NITWITS galore that are so clueless and don't make it any easier. argh!

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  14. Unless it involves them very few people actually get it.
    My daughter has a peanut allergy that can kill her.
    So at thanksgiving my aunt put peanuts in the stuffing.
    Oh dear.
    She simply forgot.

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  15. Ugh, I hate when we meet those old people who never seem to be able to smile. Nothing like someone saying "you're doing a crappy job" with their eyes. Hope this week is better.

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  16. I didn't even think of the difficulties with water & sand and the FM system. Yuck.

    I had a very similar incident to your asshat incident in a Chipotle a few weeks ago. The place was empty, I was letting my kids run around (because, dammit, it's just easier) when someone decided to sit down very close to where they were. And, in doing so, a sword-lightsaber swing ended up knocking a pair of glasses off of the table. There was no damage, but I had to pack everybody up from that point, even if I could have jammed another 2-3 bites of burrito into my gullet.

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  17. Stupid people, seriously. Ryan still looks creepy to me, sort of like he just left the set of Grease Lightening.

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  18. Old guy was a dick. First Ryan there is hawwwt.

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  19. Love your Ryans. Stupid people suck.

    Maybe you'd let me borrow Ryan to kick the asses of the parents who are telling my kid (who's 9 and has never played soccer before) to shut the eff up and stop telling him where to be on the field, already.

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  20. Many people complain about teenagers but most of my troubles are due to persons over 55. Several of them have not have a proper job for years and they understandably feel angry and hopeless. But instead of using those feelings to move forward they just take them out on others.

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  21. I had a run in like that with an old man once. Jack was not yet 3 and I was big and pregnant with Ty. Jack was eating his mac n cheese and roaring like a t-rex. Mean old man got grumpy and started yelling at us from across the otherwise empty Boston Market. Well, I was grumpy AND pregnant and reminded the guy that my son was a little boy and Old Turd was a grown man and should know better. He apologized before he left. Then I felt mean and guilty cause I'm a pussy.

    BTW, Ryan loves you a LOT. obviously he thinks you're super hot

    xoxoxo

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