Even if one is not a fan of advice, the giving or receiving, some things are too important not to pass on to an expectant first time mother:
When you see a giant chalk penis drawn on the playground parking lot?
With her grandmother.
The blooming of tiger lilies is a highly anticipated event.
Much squeaking and squealing as sweet girl carefully selects the perfect specimen, gazes lovingly at it as she brings it to her nose, and bursts into tears as her prize;
"Doesn't smell like tiger!!!!"
One should be able to allow a nine year old to get himself dressed.
One might want to appraise child's outfit before letting him out the door.
On picture day.
He might be placed in the front row.
With his pants noticeably on backwards.
Fancy FM system for Deaf child will allow him to hear the wearer anywhere the wearer goes.
The wearer may want to turn device off while going to the bathroom;
"Yup. Mommy going potty. I hear her. Mom!! You fart??!!"
Five years old has a wicked imagination.
Sticks and mud become culinary delights;
"Horse poop and tittlers" is pretend delicious.
Coining phrases is endless fun;
"Tight as a squirrel's butt!"
It is not always necessary to ask for explanation.
"Rufies" is the best name for an imaginary puppy.
And making up words will never get old;
"Mom! I made up a new word! You want to hear it?"